Where I Am

I teach at Austin Community College and today is the first day of the semester. It is one of those events that marks the passage of time and I am wondering where I am at in life. Am I an educator, an artist, a designer or none of the above? I do these things but am I these things? Maybe I'm actually asking am I successful? It's a questions that dogs me constantly. 

Yesterday I was working on a new painting and it wasn't going well. I had an idea in my head of how it should look — and it was going to be amazing. But in practice it was falling short. It was going to be one of those paintings that wasn't going to easily give up what it wanted to be. I would have to wrestle it to the ground and force it to be beautiful. So far I'm not winning that match and the struggle is clouding my vision — is the work good or bad or mediocre? I can't see clearly. I guess I will have to go back and do battle after a day of rest. See the painting in question below. Thoughts?

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